THINGS YOU CAN SAY IN CROSSFIT BUT NOT IN PUBLIC

CrossFit is, in many ways, it’s own subculture. The people who join come from all walks of life, but they are all united in their love of CrossFit.

Like any culture or subculture, crossfit has its own set of lingo that is specific to the sport.

With many CrossFit events coming up (Open, Sanctionals, Games), maybe some of you have been diving into the CrossFit world a little too deep, and need some help remembering the difference between things you can say at CrossFit and things you can say in public.

That’s why we here at WOD Recovery made you a little cheat sheet for some common phrases that can be used in CrossFit, and CANNOT be used in everyday life.

“Damn, you’re a beast.”

We get it. When you’re working out, it’s a compliment.

You’re saying they’re so strong it’s like they’re a wild animal in human clothing, tearing through their workout with the strength of a Polar Bear, the speed of a Cheetah, and the ferocity of a Chihuahua who has just seen a vaguely threatening plastic bag blow by on the road outside of its house’s front window.

If you’ve ever been called a beast in a workout, it’s a compliment.

You probably went home after your workout with a skip in your shambling post-workout ruin of a body’s step (Hey, did we mention we sell CBD oil to help with those post-workout aches and pains? Because we do, check them out: https://wodrecovery.com/shop-all/).

Calling someone ‘a beast’ in public for no discernable reason? Not as good of an idea.

It draws to mind a crazy person who is acting like an unruly animal.

The only good time to call someone a beast in public is if they are actively ripping through a garbage bag with their bare teeth while snarling and slobbering all over the ground, and let’s be honest, at that point it’s probably better not to say anything in case you draw their attention.

Nobody wants to draw the attention of a man who is ripping up garbage in broad daylight with his teeth. Instead, just slink off and call your local Police and/or Animal Control.

“Woah, check out that snatch.”

If you ever, and I can’t stress this enough, EVER are sitting at a bar on a Friday night and a friend leans over and says “Woah, check out that snatch”, you can under no circumstances check anything out.

Don’t look in the general vicinity of where he points. Quickly gather your belongings, stare at the ceiling, and exit the premises so nobody can even think you were possibly doing what that guy said.

Delete his number from your phone, and try to burn any paper trail that could possibly connect you to him, because anyone who says “Woah, check out that snatch” in public has a 100% chance of being arrested in the next three months for incredibly disturbing crimes.

If you’re in CrossFit, however, this phrase can be as exciting as “Woah, checkout that pizza”. Nobody is going to tell you to checkout an ordinary, run of the mill pizza.

There must be something awe inspiring about it. Likewise, nobody in the CrossFit world is going to point out an ok snatch (If you’re confused on what a snatch is, it’s like a clean and jerk if you cut out the middleman.)

To draw attention like that, a snatch has to be incredibly explosive, moving monumental weights from the ground to fully extended in the blink of an eye.

That is literally the only time this phrase is allowed.

“I want to check out a new box.”

See above. Very similar to “Woah, check out that snatch”. Very creepy.

Fellas, if you’re in a relationship with a girl who doesn’t do CrossFit, never say this. Unless you want the relationship to be over, then do say this.

For those of you who are unaware, a box is…uhh, google it. Something to do with female anatomy. Fellas, if you’re in a relationship with a girl who does do CrossFit, you’re in the clear.

A box is another name for a CrossFit gym, as well as the female anatomy stuff I mentioned above.

Maybe you weren’t vibing with your old box, maybe there was too much baggage there and you want to find a newer, cooler box that fits you better and makes you happy.

I’m sure your girlfriend will understand. There was probably a better way to explain this, but oh well.

“Oh geez… is that 4 plates?”

It’s 2019. Fat-shaming is not cool.

If you just crushed a tough workout and go to celebrate at your local buffet, and the guy in front of you has four plates piled high… maybe just keep it to yourself.

Maybe he has a fast metabolism. He could be going into surgery the next day and this is his last meal beforehand.

You don’t know his life story, and nobody likes being judged for eating 12,000 calories in 15 minutes.

If you’re at CrossFit and you see some beast (see above, it’s a compliment in CrossFit settings) repping 4 plate (405lbs) deadlifts in his WOD, then you can drop your judgement on him.

It’ll make him feel proud of himself, it’ll let you continue to have a very flimsy verbal filter, and nobody’s feelings will be hurt in the slightest.

Unless you rep 1 plate and have low self-esteem.

“Keep repping that bodyweight!”

know this article was supposed to be about things that can be said in CrossFit but can’t be said in everyday life, but this one actually works in both, for very different reasons.

As just mentioned, it’s 2019 and fat-shaming is not in.

Being body-positive is, and as long as you’re healthy and happy, repping your bodyweight in everyday life is awesome.

In CrossFit, lots of exercises are bodyweight only. Pushups, pullups, situps, you name it.

Repping that bodyweight can be an essential part of your workout of the day.

“Pukie the Clown just came by for a visit”

In real life, there are only two options for why you would possibly say this. Neither of them are good:

You have horrible taste in what your child wants for their sixth birthday party, and you ordered the world’s creepiest, lamest clown. His only trick is he can vomit on command. Your child hates their sixth birthday and your relationship is never the same moving forward.
You are reading your script for ‘Pukie the Clown’, an off-brand, incredibly low budget remake of ‘IT’. The film is the biggest box-office bust of the decade. Your six year old child is incredibly disappointed in your acting and your relationship is never the same moving forward.

In CrossFit, Pukie the Clown makes a lot more sense. He is an unofficial mascot, and when he comes for a ‘visit’, you just chucked your lunch after a particularly difficult workout of the day.

That’s good, because it means you pushed yourself. Save your relationship with your six year old child, save Pukie the Clown for CrossFit.

“You’re in the Pain Cave.”

If you’re a CrossFit veteran, you have an intimate relationship with this particular cave.

Of course, it’s not a physical cave, but rather a mental one that you enter when your muscles are burning beyond reason and you still have five minutes left in your WOD.

In CrossFit, the Pain Cave is a right of passage.

You can’t say you truly completed a CrossFit workout workout until you pushed through fatigue and pain. Fighting your way through the Pain Cave is what separates a good workout from a great workout.

Even though a CrossFit Pain Cave sounds pretty bad while you’re in it, the name sounds a lot worse in everyday life.

It’s quite easy to picture an everyday Pain Cave in real life. Just picture a movie scene in the woods, at a camp, where you go into the shed with all the tools… and the killer slowly walks in.

This is definitely NOT a cave you want to enter under your own free will.

Wrapping up Things You Can Say In CrossFit But Not In Public

Hopefully this cheat sheet helps you stay focused as you navigate the CrossFit waters while not making a fool of yourself in all non-CrossFit circles.

If you follow this advice, you'll be prepared to learn a new language that is filled with fun and a certain sense of beauty.

Keep pushing to improve, watch those snatches, be a beast, and enjoy the pain cave!

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Disclaimer: All hemp-derived products contain 0.0% THC